Maths With Mr. T -

These maths jokes are provided for personal and classroom use free of charge. Distribution of these gut busters is prohibited by the laws of bad humour. Youth Futures Charitable Trust accepts no responsibility for any claim resulting from their use. I hope these puns prove to be a useful Maths learning resource.

Requirements: a funny bone enabled human aged 7 to 10 years with Windows 6.0 or higher.

What did the 1 say to the 7? Nice hat!

What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!

Why was the 6 afraid of the 7? 7 ate 9!

How many math teachers does it take to change a light bulb? (27 – 9) / 18.

Why did the 7 cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken.

Why did the 7 cross the equal sign? It was being multiplied by a 1.

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? A woolly jumper.

What do you get when you cross a 1 with a 10? 1 + 10 = 11.

What do you get when you take a 0 from 99? 99.

What do you get when you take a 0 from 100? 10

What's the difference between firewood and an onion? No one cries when you chop up firewood.

What's the difference between a 6 and a 9? 3

Did you know math is holy? Yes, God said “go forth and multiply”.

You know God said to people, “Go forth and multiply”. Where do numbers go to multiply? The times table.

Where do you put a potato if you want it to multiply? In the ground.

Where do a put a number if you want it to multiply ? In the times table.

What is half of 8? 0 across and 3 up and down.

How many times can 3 be taken away from 21?Only once. (After that you would be taking 3 away from 18, then 15, ect..)

What do you get when you divide 2 cookies into 100 pieces each? Crumbs.

What did one math book say to the other? Leave me alone, I have my own problems.

If 2's a couple and 3's a crowd, what is 4 and 5? nine!

How many sides does a box have? Two — the inside and the outside.

Why is 2 + 2 = 5 like your left foot? It's not right.

What do you get when you take 9 fingers away from 10. A bad piano player.

What kind of pliers do you use in arithmetic? Multipliers.

What do you get when you cross a friend with a calculator? A friend you can count on.

How do you make the number one disappear? Add a ‘g’ and make it gone.